Feed Me

June 21, 2014

I don't know what my problem is but I am really hungry all the time.  This is so not good, as I had gastric bypass surgery less than 2 years ago.  I think it is mostly work stress, plus just coming off a Prednisone burst.

I'm really scared because I've lost 169 lbs so far and I don't want to gain it back.  It would be so easy.  I can't let that happen.  But I'm out of control.

I feel like I'm hollow inside.  I don't eat a lot at one time, but I want to eat ALL THE TIME.  ALL THE TIME!  It is all I think about.  Plus, I hurt my back, so I can't exercise the way I'd like.

I know I need to get back to focusing on eating protein.  Carbs are my enemy.  Carbs are evil little suckers that trick me into eating more and more...especially things that aren't nutritious.  Damn carbs.  :(

I also need to stick to the rules of my surgery more closely.   I need to diligently stop drinking half an hour prior to eating then not drink again for 45 minutes.  I need to adhere to it.   This is really hard for me because eating makes me thirsty, but follow it I must.

I also need to faithfully log every bite I put into mouth on myfitnesspal.com.  This is a terrific tool, but it only works if I use it.  Also, I need to NOT eat the extra calories my fitbit says I've earned.  Not eating them will help the weight come of faster, right?

Finally, I have to start drinking water.  Gag.  Yak.  Bluck.  I know it is good for me but....ick.  Ok...I know I need to do it.  It is time to put on my big girl panties and do what is right for my body.   My body is to be treated as a temple, so I need to quit treating it like a garage disposal.

I really need to faithfully pray about this.  God brought me to the decision to go through with the surgery, so I know He can help me with this struggle.  I just need to turn it over to Him and listen to His voice.

Wish me luck!