Crappy Dreams

August 7, 2014

At least 5 times a week, I dream about bathrooms.  It is REALLY starting to freak me out.  I'm terrified that one of these nights, I'll dream I'm using a toilet and end up peeing the bed.  Also, I'm concerned that these dreams have some subliminal message that I'm missing. Why else would I keep dreaming about them?

The bathrooms in these dreams are often quite scary.  Sometimes, the bathrooms have many stalls, but they are all full and I really have to go.  Other times, there are empty stalls, but the toilets are filled to the rim with, um, bodily byproducts.  Some of the bathrooms have recliners instead of toilets and you just go on the cushions.  Many times, the toilets are in the middle of a room and you just go in front of strangers.  I've already had dreams that the "toilet" was a pile of clothes on a bed.  I also have recurring dreams about bathrooms that I have never actually been in or about bathrooms I did use in my childhood.  I've had dreams about clean bathrooms, dirty bathrooms, public bathrooms, private bathrooms, and outhouses.  Seriously...what is wrong with me???   Well, I'm signing off now.  I have to go to the bathroom.....

My Guilty Pleasure

July 11, 2014

I am so ashamed.  I am 44 years old and I love One Direction.  I never imagined I'd be into a boy band at my age.  But I love their music.  Some of the songs are what I'd call "bubble gum" (cutesy) music, but most are absolutely beautiful.   "You & I",  "Little Things", "Story of My Life", and "That's What Makes You Beautiful" are all very lovely and touching songs.   I drive my son, who is 17, absolutely nuts watching the videos on You Tube, over and over again.  He can't stand them, or pop in general.  But I can't help myself.  They are my guilty pleasure.

My Three Things: Maybe Someday

July 10, 2014

     

Today, I am doing my first link up with Heidi from Heidi's Head.  This is all new to me, so let's see....what to write...what to write????  Ok...let's try this...

Three Things I Wish I Could Do

# 1 -  All my life I have wanted to be a DANCER.   I used to watch TV shows like "Solid Gold" and "Dance Fever".   I would do kicks and twirls and roll around on the floor trying to look sexy.  I remember in 5th and 6th grade, we would have an opportunity to showcase a talent at our class Christmas party.   I always danced.  The class was very polite and clapped.  They never made fun of me, which looking back, is amazing.  To this day, I would love to take dance lessons.   Maybe someday.

 # 2 - Another thing I would love to be able to do well is SING.  I love to sing!  It would be thrilling to stand in front of an audience and belt out my favorite songs.  Unfortunately, my talent is mediocre at best.  When I was in college, I joined a female singing group and the choir director said she was impressed with my ability to blend my voice with the notes being played.  Unfortunately, I can only do this in certain ranges.  I would love to take voice lessons and improve my range.  Maybe someday.

    

# 3 - Finally, I would love to become a REALTOR.  I love love love houses!  I would tour every house on the market, if I could.  I love watching all the shows on HGTV about fixing up, flipping, buying, and selling houses.  Being about to work in the industry would be a dream come true.  Unfortunately, since the housing market tanked, it just isn't an option at this time.  Maybe someday.

Getting Started

July 5, 2014

My BA is in Communications/Journalism.  Unfortunately, I have never had an opportunity to use it.  I worked 3 jobs my senior year in college, so I had no time to take on an unpaid internship.  To quote "Pretty Woman"....'Big mistake.  Big.  HUGE'--because I never got my foot in the door anywhere.  While I graduated with honors, every place I applied wanted 3 to 5 years experience, which you can't get without a job.

I've always dreamed of writing a book.  I have lots of ideas floating around in my head, but getting them put to paper has been an impossible task.  So today I attended a writer's workshop called "A Novel Idea".  It is part 3 of a series being held by the Perry County Council of Arts, and the main speaker for today's session, "Creating Spellbinding Characters" was Don Helin, author if "Thy Kingdom Come",  "The Devil's Den", and "Secret Assault".

The class was amazing.   I further developed my main character, and started forming 3 characters I hadn't originally planned on.  I learned so much and I am excited to get started on my book.  Excited, but terrified.  What if all my ideas disappear?  What if it sucks?

Oh well....only one way to find out.  Just write it!!!!

Who Cut The Cheese And Other Observations.

June 26, 2014

So I walked into a friend's cube today and walked into a fart cloud!  Whoa baby!  Out of politeness, I didn't say "WTFart" and back out.  I simply pretended not to notice, while trying not to gag.  After I left said cube, I wondered....'what if my friend hadn't cut one, but one of her cubby neighbors had and she thought it was me?'.  Hmmmm.....not a very pleasant thought, indeed.  Maybe it would be best to email from now on. :(

If people have to clean up doggie do when out walking their dogs, why don't the Amish have to pick up the horse poop off the road?  Just saying! 

Why do some people re-press an already pressed elevator button?  Seriously...it isn't coming any faster just because you pressed it again!!!

Why do clothing designers insist on big bold prints and cap sleeves on fat lady clothes?  I really don't need attention brought to my torso, nor do I want my flabby arms showing, thank you very much!    Additionally, don't I want my clothes short waisted!  Hiding my bulk is my main goal.

Why is healthy food so much more expensive than junk food?  If a big bag of potato chips is cheaper than a little bag of fresh vegetable, what are most people going to be more inclined to buy?  Let me think......cheap and delicious or too expensive and good for you??    I know what I'm buying!!!   With all the advice being given on eating healthy, maybe the government should consider subsidizing health food or taxing junk food.  I know I'd eat healthier if junk food cost an arm and a leg and healthy food was reasonably priced.  But maybe that's just me.

What's up with portion sizes?   When you buy an individual serving size product, don't you expect to eat the entire thing?  You look at the calories and fat and think "that's not too bad".  But watch out!  The individual item might serve 2 and a 1/2 people.  Who is going to cut a muffin into 2 and a 1/2 portions?  Really!  I think this should be illegal.  If something is individually packaged, it should be 1 serving.  Period!

This concludes today's observations. 

Let's Make A Deal!

June 24, 2014

In our quest to become debt-free (which we achieved with the exception of our mortgage) we have DRASTICALLY cut our spending.  While we each get a small amount of spending money each pay, it doesn't go far.  And there are so many things I need.   Ok, want...but you get the picture.

So I've decided, America needs to bring bartering back.  A manicurist gives me a spa pedicure, I'll scrub her salon's bathroom for a month on Saturdays.  A furniture dealer "gives" me a new living room suit, I'll work at the furniture store evenings or weekends for no pay until my "debt" is paid.  A restaurant gives me a meal, I'll bus tables for a couple of hours.

Or.....I'm good at this and you are good at that...let's trade.  I hate cleaning but I love baking.  I'll keep you in baked goods...you clean my house.

This would really work for me!!!

Who's with me????

Feed Me

June 21, 2014

I don't know what my problem is but I am really hungry all the time.  This is so not good, as I had gastric bypass surgery less than 2 years ago.  I think it is mostly work stress, plus just coming off a Prednisone burst.

I'm really scared because I've lost 169 lbs so far and I don't want to gain it back.  It would be so easy.  I can't let that happen.  But I'm out of control.

I feel like I'm hollow inside.  I don't eat a lot at one time, but I want to eat ALL THE TIME.  ALL THE TIME!  It is all I think about.  Plus, I hurt my back, so I can't exercise the way I'd like.

I know I need to get back to focusing on eating protein.  Carbs are my enemy.  Carbs are evil little suckers that trick me into eating more and more...especially things that aren't nutritious.  Damn carbs.  :(

I also need to stick to the rules of my surgery more closely.   I need to diligently stop drinking half an hour prior to eating then not drink again for 45 minutes.  I need to adhere to it.   This is really hard for me because eating makes me thirsty, but follow it I must.

I also need to faithfully log every bite I put into mouth on myfitnesspal.com.  This is a terrific tool, but it only works if I use it.  Also, I need to NOT eat the extra calories my fitbit says I've earned.  Not eating them will help the weight come of faster, right?

Finally, I have to start drinking water.  Gag.  Yak.  Bluck.  I know it is good for me but....ick.  Ok...I know I need to do it.  It is time to put on my big girl panties and do what is right for my body.   My body is to be treated as a temple, so I need to quit treating it like a garage disposal.

I really need to faithfully pray about this.  God brought me to the decision to go through with the surgery, so I know He can help me with this struggle.  I just need to turn it over to Him and listen to His voice.

Wish me luck!

Bathroom Etiquette

June 15, 2014

I am constantly appalled how slovenly women can be when using public restrooms.  Personally, I am more careful when I use things that do not belong to me.  If these women are so careless in public, how do their private bathrooms appear?  I shudder to think.

This is what I would like to post in the bathroom at my place of employment.  Since I can't, I'll share my thoughts here:

1.  If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat.

2.  Peeing on the floor is not acceptable once you are fully potty trained.

3.  A little air freshener goes a long way.  Your stall mates will thank you.

4.  Toilets are to be flushed.  No one wants to see your "business".

5.  If you need to grunt and groan to get it out, you don't have to go that badly.  Straining isn't good for you, anyway.  Plus, no one wants to HEAR your "business".

6.  For goodness sake....if you sound like a hydrant blowing a gasket, please don't wait so long! Your kidneys will thank you.

7.  Talking on the phone while in a bathroom stall is just wrong!

8.  Once you are finished, kindly wash your hands and leave the premises.  Please don't hold long conversations with other bathroom patrons.  Some people are shy and can't go until no one is there to listen.

9.  And finally....leave no trace.   Clean up after yourself.  

If everyone would follow this tips, I would have a much more pleasurable bathroom experience.  So would others, I believe.

Show Me The Money

June 10, 2014

My family and I recently completed Baby Step 2 in the Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.  For those of you not familiar with the Total Money Makeover, Baby Step 2 is paying off all your debt, except the mortgage.  On March 14, 2014, we completed this step.  Baby Step 3, the Fully Funded Emergency Fund (FFEF), now entails saving up 6 months worth of living expenses.  To date, we have saved $1.72 in this particular fund.

Now, don't get me wrong--we have money back.  We have a $1000.00 emergency fund (Baby Step 1) and we have money in savings designated for specific upcoming expenses, as well as money back for bills.  The problem, though, is that  every time I think I'm going to have money to put into the FFEF, something comes up.  EVERY TIME!!!

So I decided I need to find a way to make some additional money.  As I mentioned previously, I work 45 miles from home, which means I am gone between 10 1/2 to 11 hours a day or more.  I don't have a lot of free time to pursue a part time job.  So I started trying to come up with some things that I'm good at doing, which I could turn into a little sideline business.  I had a period of self-reflection in which I learned...wait for it....I have no discernible talent!  That is right.  I am talentless.  :(

Oh, I  can do a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but I don't do anything well enough to turn it into a profitable venture.  How depressing is that?

My husband can do SO many things well.  My son has many talents, as do my mom and dad.  And don't even get me started on my 2 brothers.  Then there is me.  If eating and napping could be turned into a career, then I could make millions!  But, alas, that isn't an option.

I tried decorating picture frames.  They turned out so cute and everyone loved them.  No one wanted to buy them, though.   I knitted dish cloths in the past, which did go over well.  But then I got carpal tunnel, so I can no longer knit.  I'm no Martha Stewart, so cleaning houses isn't an option (not that I really wanted to do that anyway--I'm just saying!).  I tried direct sales, but spent more money trying to grow my business than I earned.  I understand you have to spend money to make money but, come on, it got ridiculous!

So now here I am, back at the drawing board.  Wait....drawing?...nope...not good at that either!!!!  :(

My Baby...My Young Man.

June 7, 2014

School is out for summer!  Yesterday, my son completed his junior year.  He passed all his classes and is officially a senior.  This is a very bittersweet moment.  I'm so proud of him and so glad for how much he has grown over the years, but I want him to stay my baby forever. 

But my son is now a senior.  It isn't possible.  Wasn't he just a baby a moment ago?  How did the time fly so fast?

I remember all the sleepless nights and poopy diapers when I couldn't wait for him to be "just a little" older so he'd sleep through the next and be potty trained.  Why did I wish that time away?  It was a blink of an eye.

I miss the days when I was his everything.  I miss the days when I would come home from work and he'd toddle over to the door with a big grin and a kiss for his "mama".  I miss the days when he wanted to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with me.

Now, I rarely see him.  He is back in his bedroom, playing video games, talking to his friends on Skype, and texting his girlfriend.  He doesn't want to hang out with his dad and I anymore.  He doesn't greet me at the door anymore when I get home from work, unless I picked up supper at McDonald's.  And it is ok.  It is his right of passage to grown up and distance himself as he prepares to finish his last year of school and go off into the world.  But it doesn't make me miss those moments any less.

I am going to treasure this final year at home.  I don't want the days to pass too quickly.  I don't want to miss a single moment of this next year.  Next year at this time, we will be preparing for him to go off to college or trade school.  Hopefully, he will come home on weekends, but who knows.  Life will never be the same.

So take time to enjoy your loved ones.  Don't wish a single moment away.  They pass quickly enough on their own.

Calgon Take Me Away!!

June 5, 2014

My stress level today is through the roof.  I am on the verge of a panic attack. 

First, my son only has until 11:59 p.m. tomorrow to complete some make up work for school.  If he doesn't finish it, he is in danger of having to retake 1 semester of Algebra and 1 semester of Chemistry.  If the Fall and Spring semester grades were averaged, he would be golden.  He did really well during the Fall semester.  But he is cutting it close this time.  And, of course, the teachers' are scrambling to grade everything, so many of the assignments that have been turned in haven't been graded yet. Ulcer, here I come!

Second, my husband calls me today to tell me the new Rx his doctor put him on is $144 for a 3 month supply.  This floored me because most of his prescriptions are $5 or less.  I wasn't prepared for this, but I transferred the money over (thank God we had it--it was earmarked for something else, but it was there).  The reason this has me so stressed is because I just started seeing a chiropractor at $759 for 3 months!  Plus we have had a lot of medical bills lately and the $1500 deductible and $6000 out of pocket are getting hit hard.  But it will be ok. God always makes a way.  There are so many that are so much worse off then me.

Third, my doctor put me on a Prednisone burst, which is making me extremely irritable.  Thankfully, the hunger pains haven't kicked in yet, but I'm giving it time.

Finally, work is crazy! I'm not going to go into details, but I spend most of the work day with a headache.   I am very grateful I have a job, but I am so overwhelmed right now.  But this too shall pass.

I'm glad I have a Heavenly Father I can turn to in times of stress.   I know I won't have a nervous breakdown or get an ulcer...although it surely feels like it is coming on!!  I know "all things work together for those who love the Lord" Romans 8:28.  I know everything will work out for the best in the end.  I just need to breathe and maybe take a bubble bath.   I wonder if Calgon can really "take me away"? Hawaii would be nice this time of year!   ;)

Get Out Of My Way!!!

June 4, 2004

So, I mentioned before that I commute 90 miles daily to work.  Because of this, I experience a great deal of angst.  I don't want to say that I have road rage, however.....well....I have road rage.  My name is Tammy and I have road rage.  There-I admitted it.  I don't experience road rage to a violent degree, but one to which I think a whole lot of swear words on a daily basis.

One of my biggest pet peeves is getting behind vehicles that shouldn't even be on the road.  Well, at least in my opinion they shouldn't.  For example:  unless a horse and buggy can go 55 mph, they shouldn't be on roads with a posted speed limit of 55 mph.  First, they are a danger to themselves and anyone else on the road.  Even when you are driving the posted speed limit, it is easy to come around a corner or pop over a hill and...OMGosh!  Slam on the brakes!!!...there's a horse and buggy!  I have almost had several heart attacks, not to mention close calls, due to this scenario.  Second, it is my understanding that the Amish do not pay taxes and therefore are not helping to pay for these roads.  If they aren't helping fund the roads, then those dastardly horse hooves should not be allowed to help destroy them.  PA weather does that well enough, thank you very much!  Finally, horse poop! Need I go on?

Another pet peeve is when people drive in the passing lane below the posted speed limit.   If you are in the passing lane, you are to be passing.  If you are just driving in the lane because you like to drive on the left hand side of the road, move to England!  Seriously.  It drives me crazy when people hang in the passing lane going slower than the speed limit.  I can't tell you how many times I have gotten behind someone that is going slower than the traffic in the driving lane and they won't move over.  BEEP BEEP...get out of my way you *&*(Y*(&!)&*^&^&^&!!!!!!    Gulp...sorry God! I know I need to guard that tongue of mine!!!

And I've saved the best for last...YIELDING.  Yielding does not mean speeding up and forcing your way into traffic.  Yielding means to back off until it is safe to pull into traffic.  When people fail to yield, I want to....never mind, we won't go there. And don't even get me started on MERGING.

Well, that's enough for now.  I'm sure I'll have more to share on this subject at a later date.

About Me

Welcome to Life According to Me!

Let me start by telling you a little about myself.  My name is Tammy and I am a 44 year old wife and mother.  I am employed full-time as an analyst in an insurance company's customer service unit.  Unfortunately, I commute 90 miles a day, which isn't fun.  I'm sure you'll get to read all about it.

I earned a degree in Communications/Journalism back in 1992, but haven't had a chance to use my degree. Unfortunately, I was caught in the "you need 3-5 years experience to get a job, but you need a job to get experience" cycle.  So I decided to get back into writing by blogging.  We'll see how it goes!

I am a Christian, which is extremely important to me.  God has gotten me through so much in my life, for which I am truly grateful!  Everything I am I owe to Him.

I have a 17 year old son.  He is the love of my life and a great source of worry.  I have been married almost 20 years to the other love of my life.  He is the source of all the gray hair.  :)

Well, that pretty much provides a brief synopsis on me.  More to follow.....